A Reckless Fall

For those of you that don't already know, this summer I worked in the kitchen at Sound View Presbyterian Camp(woot!woot!) And This is my third week being home and it just doesn't feel right to be back here again. For me this has always just been a house, but it's never really felt like a home to me. I'm really missing my home, back at camp, alot lately and I found this original song called "Prison Break" on youtube by Julietoriginals and I think it really describes how I've been feeling lately.



LYRICS:
What I need is a face to face talk about
How i'll escape the bars to independence
What I need is the courage to tell myself
That it's ok to be ok
I need to scream out loud, fight my own will
Won't see the rest of the world if i'm here, still

May I please, please escape my love
Where I can see the sky and shining sun
Our grounds are cold and for God's sake
I need a prison break
I'm falling, falling, falling apart
I'm not breaking rules but I might break a heart
Go and tell me this is a mistake
I need a prison break

What I need is a dose of silence to fix up this new way
The words are echoing in my ear like i'm being forced to stay
Live a little, breath a little, rip out a page
from the same old story i'm living every day
Do me a favor and bail me out, just bail me out

May I please, please escape my love
Where I can see the sky and shining sun
Our grounds are cold and for God's sake
I need a prison break
I'm falling, falling, falling apart
I'm not breaking rules but I might break a heart
Go and tell me this is a mistake
I need a prison break

I don't want to be held hostage from a sweet rejoice
I just want to be alone if leaving is a choice

May I please, please escape my love
Where I can see the sky and shining sun
Our grounds are cold and for God's sake
I need a prison break
I'm falling, falling, falling apart
I'm not breaking rules but I might break a heart
Go and tell me this is a mistake
I need a prison break

Get me out of here
Bail me out of here
I just want to be alone

I just want to go back and talk to the people I love the most and to break free from all the boundaries that limit me here. I want to screthe top of my because it's killing me to be so far away from everything and everyone I love so dearly.I want to escape the love that I’m feeling here and trade it for the greater love that always seems to be present at Sound View. I want to be where the warm sun bathes my skin as the powerful ocean waves come crashing over me. I want to get away from here because I feel like I sinking deeper and deeper back into the old me, I’m falling back into the traps of the materialistic world that is so full of people who have influenced me in negative ways. Their pulling me away from God and away from the person I want to be and that breaks my heart.
It must be some kind of mistake because I don’t feel like this is where I’m meant to be. I just want to get away from everyone else so that I can rediscover the real me that has become so evidently clear this summer. But there is another part of me that feels as if I’m being forced to stay here. I’m sick and tired of the same old routine day after day, There must be something better out there for me to do in God’s kingdom outside the walls of school. I don’t want to stay here; I just want to get as far away from this false reality as I can because I know that the eternal reality is so much greater than what I’m feeling now.