Saved by Grace, Loved by God

     I admit that I am human and I make mistakes. In fact, I make a lot of mistakes. I am often irrational and act on what I am feeling in the moment. Being young and in college, I find that there are plenty of opportunities to make new mistakes. Young adulthood is often the time in a person's life where they make a lot of choices and must learn to suffer the consequences. It is a time in a person's life where they are presented with lots of freedom, as well as lots of responsibility.

     Although responsibility is often seen as a good thing, it doesn't always feel that way. When we fail to take care of the responsibilities we have been given we fail ourselves and must learn from our mistakes. I sometimes feel like I am in a dark place, but it is in that darkness that I also find comfort. God speaks to us all the time, but sometimes it takes us hitting rock bottom for us to really hear Him.

     The darker of a place I find myself in, the more I am humbled. It is when I am at my weakest that I am forced to cry out to God for help. Although I know that as a Christian I am called to be more I don't always do so. Rather than setting myself apart, I often find myself held captive to the ways of this world. I do not always reflect my faith through the way I live my life. I make the same stupid mistakes as many non-believers.

     Even though I am in no way perfect, God continues to love on me and pour out His grace over me. Although I do not always make the wisest choices, I know that I still have a Father who loves me and is proud to call me His daughter. I also have supportive friends who take care of me when I am at my weakest. They look out for me. Even though I do not deserve it, they continue to love me and show me grace through their own words and actions. Although I am a wreck, I also know that I am saved by grace and loved by God.

Relationship Guidelines From Me to You

              Yesterday marked the two month anniversary of my relationship with my boyfriend. The beginning stage of relationships is often referred to as “the honeymoon stage” because there tends to be little or no conflict and those involved in the relationship are often blind to the other person’s shortcomings. Although this is often true, it is also important to recognize that the beginning of any relationship is important because it is the time where we really get to know each other on a deeper level. The first couple months lay down the basic foundation for what our relationship will look like from here on out. Here are a few things we do that you might consider implementing into your relationship with your significant other or even your roommates or other important people in your life.

Faith-Christ is at the very center of our relationship. Before we even started courting, we both openly discussed our personal values and beliefs. We agreed upon the importance of having God as the center and foundation of our relationship, also agreeing to never let our relationship with each other come before or get in the way of the personal relationships we both have with Him. We strive not only to further develop our relationships with Christ, but also to help each other grow stronger in the faith. Even before we started courting we began doing devotions together, praying together, and worshipping with one another.

Courting-We are not in a dating relationship, we are in a courting relationship. Neither of us is in this relationship because of a desire to “fit in”, to be loved, or to get something from the other person. We are both in this relationship with the ultimate goal of marriage, if it is the will of God for the two of us to someday get married. Not only this, but we are also both aware that to truly love someone means that you want what is best for the other person, so if things do not end up working out between us then we know that we must set each other free from the relationship recognizing that as being a sign that it was not part of God’s will for us to be together forever and that is okay too.

Genuine-We are both very honest, open, and genuine with each other. Before we began courting we both shared very intimate details of our lives with one another, not holding anything back. We each have a strong desire to be genuine with each other not keeping secrets, but truly sharing the deepest, most vulnerable pieces of our lives with each other. The discussions that come as a part of this are not always easy, but are vital to our relationship.

Respect-We each hold each other in high regard never intentionally putting each other in any situation that is uncomfortable. In order to do this we must maintain good, clear communication. If either one of us is feeling at all uncomfortable we openly talk about it, letting the other person know what is going on. We have respect for each other’s boundaries, never disregarding the feelings of the other person, but accepting them and backing down from any situation that makes the other person feel out of their range of comfort.

Trust-We both trust each other. Neither of us is selfishly needing to know where the other person is and who they are with at all times. If he lets me know that he is going out to a bar with a few friends, I never even think to ask which bar or which friends. I trust that he is faithful to me and the fact that he is willing to tell me what he is doing without my even asking really shows me that he is someone who I can trust. His honesty and open communication really helps me to know that I have nothing to be concerned about.

Love-We show our love through our actions, not just through our words. We strive to love each other the same way that God loves us; to love unconditionally, to be self-sacrificial, and to see each other through Christ’s eyes. We also recognize that we each give and receive love in different ways, so we do our best to express our love in various ways whether that be through physical touch, quality time, gifts, acts of service, or words of affirmation. These are all vital to making sure that we each feel loved by one another.

Space-Although we both enjoy each other’s company we also recognize that we each need our own space. Rather than being clingy and needy, we allow each other the time and space to go spend time with other friends, do homework, sleep, eat, ect on our own. Sure we might send each other a brief text throughout the day to show the other person that we are thinking of them, but we have no need to be with each other or in communication with each other all the time. Even when we are spending time with each other while in the company of others we often end up on opposite sides of the room. Although we’re still together, we don’t need to be right next to each other. We find our identity in our relationship with Christ, not in our relationship with each other.

Family-It is never too early to meet the family. The first words my boyfriend said to me after we made our relationship official was, “I can’t wait for my family to meet you!” Family is important to both of us, so we have made it a point of getting to know each other’s family from a very early stage in our relationship. [Plus, if you do not feel comfortable taking your significant other home to meet your family, then that person is probably not right for you.] Just two days after we officially began courting we spent the day with my dad. And a few weeks later we had Spring Break, so I went home with him to meet his family (both nuclear and extended). Yesterday I am was planning to take him to meet the rest of my nuclear family along with some extended family members, but unfortunately other things got in the way. But that is okay, it will happen soon enough.

I hope that this is helpful to others as you build upon your relationships with your own significant other, your family, your friends, your roommates, your co-workers, ect.

The Million Dollar Question: What is love?

In the Bible and in the world there are a lot of references to the word "love".

At weddings we often hear:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."-1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

In Sunday School we teach that:

"God is love."-1 John 4:8 (NIV)

We've all heard the golden rule:

"do to others what you would have them do to you"-Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

Love is a word we use a lot in society. Just a few weeks ago, I had a family member pass away unexpectedly and have noticed myself telling people, "I love you" more often than usual. But what does this really mean? Am I just spitting out empty words? Am I only saying these words out of fear?

This all brings me to the big question; What is love?

As Easter approaches, I've been thinking quite a bit about the sacrifice Christ made for us sinners when he took it upon himself to die on that cross in order to save us. I read over and over again "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."-John 15:13 (NIV) Now don't get me wrong, I'm not requesting that you physically sacrifice yourself for someone else as Christ did for His people. But perhaps to sacrifice yourself in other ways, after all that's what this season of lent is all about, right? Sacrificing something in order to draw near to God.

Sacrifice can come in many different forms. Maybe for you this might mean setting technology aside to sit down and have a real, meaningful conversation with someone face-to-face. Or maybe it means sacrificing a few minutes of your day to call your parents, grandparents, or other relatives you haven't seen in awhile. Maybe this means taking the time to write a letter of appreciation to someone who has been a mentor to you. Perhaps this just means sending a text of encouragement to a friend.

Whatever you find best fitting, do it! Do not allow your words to be empty, but let them be backed up by what you do. After all, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. In this week leading up to Easter remember to love one another, just as Christ first loved you.

Do not love with just any kind of love, but with an agape type love. Love which is far-reaching, self-sacrificing, and unconditional. The same love which lead Jesus Christ to suffer on the cross in order to purchase our salvation. While other types of love are based upon feelings, agape is a choice! Agape type love is a decision to love knowing that every person is priceless in God's eyes. It is a way of allowing God to love others through you and to use you to be "a light to the nations" just as Christ was.

I hope you really ponder this question for yourself; what is love? Pray, asking The Lord to open you up to hear from Him and you might just be amazed at what He chooses to reveal to you. I wish you all many blessings and much peace as we near the end of this Lenten season and enter into Easter.